What if Humans Never Had Knees?

It’s that time in the afternoon.

Would we, as a species have survived without the ability to run up hill? Would all prey animals have evolved to live on higher ground to avoid their straight legged foes? Perhaps then, we’d be vegetarian everywhere except Holland and other flat nations?

Inventing new fangled ways to climb and crouch would become paramount to survival, so as a species would we idolise engineers as the great thinkers of our history instead of philosophers?

Ankles would be fairly important for propulsion when running. Perhaps survival of the fittest would dictate that he who runs the fastest and therefore has the strongest ankles is king. Natural selection therefore might result in almost spring-like ankles that launch us through the air like a kind of pre-historic built in space boot. If nothing else it would make the commute excellent fun.

Would the ground need to be softer to avoid this springy gait from resulting in concussive ankle injuries? Perhaps it would be the norm for pavements and footpaths to be carpeted with grass and soft ground. With so much more flora around, global warming wouldn’t be nearly so much of a burden on our planet and just think of the number of jobs we’d need to create for the upkeep. Of course, all those required extra jobs would be expensive and councils would inevitably look for the Astro-turf equivalent of spongy grass. The Horticultural Activism Movement (THAM) would develop and become rife in communities. Guerrilla gardening groups would spring up everywhere and turf over the pavements with impunity, desperate to return to the old ways when the grass really was greener.

Stairs would not exist. Instead, all buildings would have a system of pullies and later, electrical lifts. Due to the expense of installing a lift, only the richest families could live in a house, and the majority would live in bungalows or flats. A multi story house would therefore be a symbol of extreme wealth and prestige, with the wealthiest in society choosing to live almost exclusively on the upper floors just because they can.

Sport would be bloody difficult in its current forms. Instead of physical prowess, perhaps therefore we’d value those who excel at stationary activities above all others? National jigsaw championships, competitive queuing, the silly walks World Cup?

It makes you wonder…

So yeah, be grateful for your knees.

As always, feel free to contribute you’re own brain ramblings on this subject in the comments.

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